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Drinking Deeply in The Fire

They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”    Jeremiah 17:8 NIV

A Netflix documentary described my week: Watching fire roar through the forest. How do you show God’s love when circumstances make you the bad guy? As I ended the day sipping a cup of peppermint tea, Jeremiah 17:8 ran through my mind. Only I couldn’t recall the exact Scripture: “…leaves always green…roots go out to the river,” like a compact disc stuck on one chorus kept repeating itself as I lived through the “fire.”

This gave me much comfort, especially on Monday when I started visiting churches and dropping off DVD’s and prayer cards. My stomach felt like a tight rope being twisted. Starting my life as a writer before becoming a worker with WorldVenture has prepared me for rejection and doubt. I’ve developed a thick skin, learned how to smile through disappointment, and still, after each packet was dropped off, Jeremiah 17:8 kept running unceasingly through my mind.

I rely on God’s divine protection and His guidance through all circumstances.

The stress of the week and the question of showing God’s love when circumstances make you the bad guy did not erase the joy in my heart or take the smile from my face. I fear people look at God in our culture’s sense–someone like our best friend who accepts our sins rather than hates our sins. God knows our sins tear apart our lives and relationships. It causes generations of damage. This is why God hates sin. He hated it so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross; the lamb sacrifice to end all sacrifice–To give humanity a chance.

So, while my leaves were always green because my roots were drinking from living water, I am learning different perspectives. I am learning how to distance myself so people don’t connect the circumstances with God’s character, to let others do the work God has them doing and not interfere, and I am also learning how to continue working towards 100% support, face prejudices, doubt, and conquer my own self-sufficiency. While on the way to 100% support, I am in training. I am learning how to make and face hard decisions, confronting my fear of confrontation, and learning how to walk through the “fire” unscathed.