I’m reading, “No More Faking Fine,” by Esther Fleece. In one chapter, she talks about being told to, “suck it up,” during a fragile and difficult time in her life. I have experienced a similar wording. To me, those words represented their backs turning toward me and their feet walking away when I most needed friends. Situations do occur when you have no choice, but to suck it up.
A situation may require you to not be you. You may be in a situation where faking fine is the only option. Without an outlet, faking fine will kill you.
Here are three ways to fake fine that has worked with me:
- Connect with friends: Find a couple of friends you can talk to, hang out with, or do Bible Studies with so you can unload, laugh, and have someone on your side. Faking fine leaves you in isolation, blaming yourself, and binge eating. When you connect, choose healthy places to eat that won’t tempt you to dig into high calorie foods to bring you comfort. Stay away from online or real life shopping situations if you are tempted to do retail therapy. Have friends hold you accountable for your actions.
- Get into exercise and the outdoors. Self-discipline will grow you spiritually through regular exercise. Walking through the woods or in the desert will bring you peace. Use those moments to talk to God about how you are not fine. Read some Bible verses and pray. I run and it helps to shake off frustration, diverting my emotions to my feet.
- Find a creative outlet. A friend paints. It brings her peace and helps her cope. Painting, writing, building, etc., are wonderful therapeutic options. Watch movies that make you cry. Read books that challenge your static thinking. Do something creative that challenges your abilities.
If you are faking fine in your marriage, seek out a marriage counselor. You should not be faking fine with your spouse. He or she should be the one person you are you with, and able to shake off the day at the front door, like mud from your boots. Home should always be a place of love; a retreat away from the world where faking fine is sometimes the norm.